just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
