Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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