I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
