Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
