It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
