I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
