sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
