WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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