I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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