so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
