Welp...herpes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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