STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
