Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
