I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
