I've blown a few things in my day
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
