This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
