? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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