So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
