Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
