Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
