Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
is wine microwaveable?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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