Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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