I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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