So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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