I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
