i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
