I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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