yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
