So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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