i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
