You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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