WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
MIDGETS
????
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
