Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just puked most of my soul out..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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