We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
