I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
