The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
