Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
