Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
