The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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