I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
