i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
