Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
