he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
