ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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