I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
