Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
