Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
