if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
