One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
