you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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