i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
