R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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