I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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