I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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